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Thoughts on Taxes for 2014

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2013 has been a big year for taxes. The "fiscal cliff" deal boosted the top federal income tax rate to 39.6%; "Obamacare" added new taxes on top earners; and dozens of state and local governments raised their taxes, too. Congress will finish 2013 even more divided than it began, which will probably protect us from new taxes next year. But here are some quotes to ease the sting of this year's higher bills:

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The Naughty List

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Christmas is almost here, and that means millions of parents across America are telling their kids to behave themselves or risk winding up on the "Naughty List." (Admit it — if you've got kids, and you celebrate Christmas, you've done it yourself.) But while kids may be on their best behavior, grownups sometimes fail to make the connection between their own behavior and what Santa leaves under the tree. This is especially true when it comes to taxes! Misbehave there, and you risk a lot more than a lump of coal. So here are four cautionary tales to consider as the holiday approaches.

  • Joel Grasman worked as an electrician for the Metropolitan Transit Authority in Long Island. He and his wife owed the IRS $10,000 in tax for failing to report a loan from her pension. So, late one night, Grasman snuck into the yard where he works to steal some welding machines to pay off that debt. He loaded the machines onto his truck just fine, but forgot to lower the long boom on the truck before driving off to store the machines at his brother's garage. Uh oh. “I wanted to get out of there before I attracted any attention and I forgot to put the boom down,

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"Ardente!" is Portuguese for "Hot!"

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Tax collectors generally don't choose their line of work for the pay. Glassdoor.com, a gossipy website covering salaries and careers, reports the average Revenue Agent earns $73,967. Careerbliss.com tells us the average criminal investigator earns $99,000 — which makes sense considering there's at least a chance they get shot at while working. That's not bad coin . . . but it's hardly enough to party with the rich and famous.

But what's true here in the United States may not be true in the rest of the world. Our neighbors to the south in Brazil have been transfixed lately by a sordid scandal of glitz and bling featuring — you guessed it — a gang of tax collectors, accused of helping construction companies evade over $200 million in taxes.

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Coach's Challenge

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December is here, and for millions of college football fans, that means following their favorite coach to a New Year's bowl game. In Birmingham, Alabama's Nick Saban is reeling from the Crimson Tide's last-second loss to archrival Auburn in this year's "Iron Bowl." In Columbus, Ohio State's Urban Meyer is celebrating 24 straight victories after his Buckeyes beat Michigan by just one point in "The Game." And further west, Washington's Steve Sarkisian is celebrating his Huskies win over the Washington State Cougars in the 106th "Apple Cup."

As always, these coaches and dozens more will be paying attention to the latest Bowl Championship Series standings. But this year, they'll also be paying attention to the IRS. That's because a new strategy might help them block taxes when they switch jobs.

College football coaches can make a lot of money. Alabama's Saban will make at least$5.65 million this year, and 51 coaches make more than the average pro player ($1.9 million). In 27 states, the highest-paid public employee is a

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That's a Lot of Gravy!

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Back in 1621, a group of hardy Pilgrims sat down for a three-day festival of thanksgiving to celebrate surviving plague, starvation, cold, scurvy, Indian attack, and all the other obstacles that made life in the "new world" so delightful. They feasted on game birds, flint corn, venison, eels, shellfish, and native vegetables including beans, turnips, carrots, onions, and pumpkins. (No butter or flour, though, which meant no pumpkin pie. And aren't you glad we remember them now for turkey instead of eels?)

242 years later, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed the first "official" Thanksgiving — a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our benificent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens." Since then, it's become one of America's favorite holidays, a four-day weekend of friends and family without the Christmas-season hype.

You know who else loves Thanksgiving? Our friends at the IRS, of course. That's because they get to stuff themselves with taxes on everything connected with our celebration!

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What's in a Name?

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In Shakespeare's most recognized tragedy, the star-crossed lover Juliet asks "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Now, that may have been true back in Juliet's day. But is it still true now in today's era of celebrity branding?

Here's the deal. Back in 2009, executors for the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, filed an estate tax return reporting the value of his assets at his death. Jackson had been famously extravagant during his life, blowing through hundreds of millions in earnings and borrowing hundreds of millions more. His 2,600-acre "Neverland" ranch in Santa Barbara that included two railroads, a petting zoo, and a Ferris wheel reportedly cost $2.5 million per month to maintain. He spent millions more on travel, entertainment, antiques, and paintings. And feeding "Bubbles," his pet chimpanzee, couldn't have been cheap, either.